Excerpts from a Sith Lord's Diary Options

[rlindsey]

Recent documents from the private vault of a anonimous Sith Lord have recently been discovered. These are the excerpts from that important unnamed source.

Moday (date deleted) Today I was minding my own buisness at my master's junk yard when two long haired hippy types came in with a swagger and demanded to speak with my master about getting an rebuilt engine for a spacecraft so outdated it was old when positron light drives came out 50 years ago. Watching them negotiate, I soon realized that even though the older one was pretty triff, the younger one was a whinny crybaby named Obi Wan. He kept going on about how much the drive was costing and how dry and dusty the place was. Sheese, didn't this guy ever shut up? A third person in the group kept on getting into things and knocking over the merchandise. Who does this fool think has to clean up after him? Me, that's who! On a happier note, I'm almost done fixing my pod racer. This time I'll be sure to win me and my mom's freedom, and tell the master where he can shove that positron drive.

Tuesday (date deleted) Guess who came back to the shop today? Yep those hippies from yesteryear. Only this time they brought a super hottie space babe! Her name is Padowane and she is triff to the max! She kept trying to impress me with all this talk on how she's a queen and fleeing to the Repubic senate to get her home planet freed. I could tell she was really into me. Great news, the hippies are financing my race!

These two excerpts really help us understand the mental development of the Sith Lord in question. Here are some later excerpts of the Sith Lord in his teenage years. Here we can see where teenage angst comes across a budding psycosimatic disorder. If only they had caught it in time then maybe prescription medication could have headed off this tragesty.

Tuesday (date deleted) Today the Jedi counsel gave me a new master after my last master got himself quesinarted by a Sith Lord called Darth Maul, the whinny Obi Wan. Boy if I was there instead of him then my former master sure wouldn't have died. Probably held back on purpose so he could get a promotion. He's always harping at me too. Don't stay out late, Keep the robes off the floor, Don't kiss that alien you don't know where it's been. These and other complaints keeps him happilly nagging like he's my wife or something. I think it's because he is seariously intimidated by my rad moves. He just knows I'm much better than him and it eats him up for sure! Like last night, we were chasing this assasin that was trying to knock off my hottie senator babe, Padowane, and he was tripping on the fact that I was flying though the air like the top Jedi man I am and could've possibly got hurt a little (If i was him!). Well we got the sneak didn't we? Even though it got whacked by it's own assasin afterward, we should've spent more time interrogating the sleaze instead of him chewing my butt over what ifs.

Friday (date deleted) Obi Whinobe was at it again today. Man, I am not in the mood for it today. I just recently found out about my mothers kidnapping by those slimely sandpigs and, after she died in my arms, I had done some serious retribution revenging on their (censered)! I'm happy to say that they won't be stinking up the desert any time soon. Anyways, Obi Wannababy, kept on goading me to focus more and kept question me about my time away. He's really annoying me. sometime I feel like wiping his face off the universe. At least the Jedi counsel finally came to their senses and approved me looking out over my hottie babe girlfriend, Padowane. I think I'll get her alone and see if I can convince her to run off with me or something. Hope this works out ok."

More to our dismay, the Jedi counsel and the master Obi Wan Kenobi did not pick up on these little hints of disruptive social disorder and had not a clue on what would happen later. more excerpts will be added later where we will examine the later life of this most evil Sith Lord.

[OrlanDude]

Uh, I hate to have to correct your ever fading memory but, . . . (geek alert) . When forced to take refuge on Tattooine (sp?) only Qui-Gon-Jin, the Queen (in disguise as a handmaiden), a Gungan & a droid journeyed to the junk yard.

...the younger one was a whinny crybaby named Obi Wan.

The future Sith lord did not meet Obi Wan until after the pod race when they fled the planet.

[rlindsey]

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) maybe the Dark Side clouded his memory.

[Jay2645]

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/banana-lol.gif)

This is great! Keep it up!

P.S. I like the new sig. "Join the dark side... and get a free cookie!"
Of course, it would be more like "Join the dark side... and get a free* cookie!"